spurious: (you can't stop my feelings!)
just call me L. ([personal profile] spurious) wrote2007-12-18 02:40 am

i have just played the most epic game of oregon trail EVER, i swear to god.



[livejournal.com profile] intoxikatie: this could be a fic. You know, one of those super-angsty ones where they state everything really plainly and emotionlessly for maximum impact?



As soon as they heard the hard accents of kansaiben, all of the people at the trading post looked the other way, pretended not to notice the desperate group of boys approaching them. The fog is so heavy that it obscures the terrain, obscures the dark shadows under everyone's eyes. For a minute Yasu can pretend they're somewhere else; somewhere happier. The food rations dwindle, slowly, and still, no one will trade. Yasu breaks down crying when a woman rejects his offer of an ox for a wagon axle; he can see the stash of spare parts in the back of her wagon. On the day that would have been Ryo's birthday, it rains freezing hail. They huddle together in the wagon and Hina wishes, briefly, that they'd all been washed away down the river.

***

They finally get what they need, after a month of pleading with strangers and scrounging up food from the frozen land. It costs them another ox, but they're moving again. That's when Maru gets sick.

***

It's easy to get lost in the snow. Everything is white, pure white, and flat for miles in every direction. They haven't seen another sign of life in days. It's cold.

***

Maru dies on Christmas day, by the calendar Yasu's pinned up on the inside of the wagon. The ground is frozen solid; it's impossible to bury him. Hina and Yasu pay their respects, quiet and hopeless, and continue on.

***

When Yasu dies, the tears freeze on Hina's cheeks. He stares up at the sky, screaming in hopeless anguish, but he goes on. He knows Yasu would want him to.

***

Hina makes a rule to not think about Kanjani8. He breaks the rule for Yoko, once. "You can't stop my feelings," he says aloud.

***

He's not even sure how he managed to break his leg, but he does his best to set the bone and try to rest. There's almost no food left, and Hina's pretty sure he is just waiting around to die now.

***

Of course he can't repair the wagon wheel, Hina thinks, laughing helplessly to himself, to no one. That would be too easy.

***

Hina starts to scream incoherently at people who refuse to trade with him.

"I should quit being your partner," he says to no one in particular, before trading away his last set of clothing for a new wagon wheel.

***



***

Sometimes Hina would think to himself, just one more setback, one more thing, and I'll give up already. When he woke up one morning and discovered his two remaining oxen missing, he went back to bed. He wished he could sleep forever, but knew he would never get that lucky.

***

Trading was more difficult than ever. People tended to avoid Hina whenever they saw him approach. Maybe it was the whole naked thing.

***

Hina stops boiling water before drinking it. Hopefully he'll get dysentery.

***



***

He wonders vaguely about who will find his body. Maybe they could use the spare wagon tongues. Probably not. No one ever wants the wagon tongues.

***


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